We all know that for a marriage to be happy it takes work, but what does that really mean? What is work in this context? In this article, we are going to find out all about that. Everyone wants his or her marriage to be a source of comfort and fun. For example, when you are tired and you get home, you want to be welcomed with hugs and kisses.
Nobody wants to be number two while at home. But honestly speaking that is not always the case, you might get home and all you get is ugly stares from your partner. If you are in a situation like that don’t panic because we’ve got several fixes to help you out. Maintaining a healthy marriage is not rocket science or a complex process like learning a new language. Take your time and go through these best ways to keep a happy marriage and by the time you are done, you will be able to keep your marriage happier than it is now.
- Don’t argue over money.
One of the major killers of many relationships and marriages is arguing about money. If it is a new marriage and you haven’t had that conversation on how to spend, save and share money, you should have it as soon as possible. You are two different individuals and even if you are in love it does not factor out the fact that you are still different.
There are ways your partner will be using money and you will be feeling like he or she is wasting money and the vice versa is also true. So instead of having those secret grudges in heart, have a way on how you will be spending the money for the expenses and then allocate some funds for each of you to use as you see fit. Once you address those differences you can start saving together and trust me the marriage will grow stronger.
- Try not to focus on trifles.
The small things are literally the worst, they will waste both of your time and in most cases, they transform into big problems. One day you will be having a nice conversation and probably your partner gets a call and he tells you to lower the volume of the TV and you fail to do that. Then you start arguing with each other and end up ruining your moods, is it really worth it? Instead of arguing over small stuff like that, talk about what is bothering you and what is bothering her and things you can do to better your lives.
- Be a friend.
Don’t just be a husband or a wife to your partner. You need to be her best friend, a person she can talk to when she is having a rough time. Be cheeky, crack a joke, show her your trust and respect her together with her decisions. Be always there for her and even if you cannot be able to solve some of her problems just give her a listening ear. A strong friendship is the foundation of a strong marriage.
- Share your thoughts.
Don’t be that person who keeps everything to yourself. Let your partner know your deepest fear and your passion. Try having some time designated that you can both talk about the things that are really important to you.
Also don’t be that guy who keeps grudges, if you feel something is not right, talk to your partner and explain it. Don’t wait until you are having a heated argument and then you start unloading all the things she has ever done to you. That will be the beginning of your downfall. If something is not right, spit it out and she will ask for forgiveness. Move over it and focus on other things.
- Show affection daily.
Just coz you have been married for several years it does not mean you start treating her like your property. You need to show the same love you were showing when you were starting. While you are walking down the streets, hold her hands, take her out from time and time. During the holidays plan a vacation and have some time alone out in the woods like you used to. And most importantly encourage marriage love in the bedroom. Even if it might not be possible for it to be like it used to during the golden days, try to encourage it as much as possible. Good love and affection create a bond nothing can break.
- Focus on the positive.
I know it is easier said than done but it is very possible to stay positive. And if you can be able to focus on the positive everything is going to be fine because you will be seeing zero flaws in your relationship. Every time you feel like you are giving up on her, start thinking about what you appreciate the most about her. Think of the hard times that she has helped go through. Think of what attracted you to her in the first place. What are the moments that you treasure the most about the relationship? The positives will always be more than the negatives and if you can both focus on the positivity, your relationship is definitely going to be happier.
- Recognize that every marriage has its ups and downs.
Even the happiest couple that you know of also have its ups and downs. If you need help you might even try couples counseling if your partner is ok with it. Don’t try to be a perfectionist, sometimes you are going to screw things up and she won’t be happy. Don’t blame yourself or start an argument. Instead, accept you screwed up and ask for forgiveness.
During arguments don’t always try to win, sometimes let her win even though you are right and maybe after the temperature has cooled down you can talk about it. If you focus on positivity and give the right attention, the downs are just going to be temporary and hence a happy marriage.